The indicator light in your car comes on and you groan – one more thing to do you don’t have time for.

The indicator feeling in your LIFE comes on and what – what do you do with it? Did you catch it? Do you know which system it is referencing?

Today, for me, it is delight. The lightness, up, fun, happy – youthful giddiness. What is happening to me?! Oh, right. I am delighted – this is what it feels like. This is what life is like to be de-lighted.

Ah HAH! I want to use this! I want to make more. I want to really feel into this…

Two gals came to town for the weekend. I busted out the antique wine glasses I didn’t even remember I had. I ordered the decadent cake from the favorite bakery. I pulled out the wine. I kept the wood stove burning (and the TV off). Fuel me. Let this feeling in because this is the good stuff.

When do you delight? What is there, who is there, who are you in it? I would love to hear what delights you – it is such a gift to know and to feel it, to see the spark in others.

To your delight,


It turns out I have very weak dissatisfaction muscles. I’m not very practiced at or willing to feel into dissatisfaction. I don’t think of it as a scary feeling – but I have been avoiding it. For years.

What do you to avoid your feelings? For the sake of ease, I’m going to assume that if you are reading this you have, at times – if not all the time, used food to avoid feeling something. If not, fill in your version as we go along. It could be alcohol, TV, shopping, etc…

Last night I had the baby (who is teething) down (for what I hoped would be) the night and I just didn’t feel good. I felt off. Kind of yucky but not sick, just an unfamiliar not-so-good kind of different with an edge of tired. I knew that in the past I would have overeaten in that very first moment – or more likely, a few hours earlier! Since I didn’t do that I got to hang with the feeling. It didn’t go away. I went to bed and read with it, I turned out the light with it, and I fell asleep with it on me like a boring blanket.

Upon waking I had a realization. I had a dissatisfying night, eureka! My feeling matched the situation, it made sense! We had eaten the same meal I prepared the night before, and it was not as good as the first night. I spent my free Saturday night running errands all over town in the dark and rain to accomplish random tasks I wasn’t excited about – and uptempo Christmas music was playing almost everywhere I went.  I came home to a teething baby and her worn out dad.

It was not the kind of night you put on your vision board!

So what?

It was one dissatisfying evening in my life. What was the problem in feeling that? Why not feel the dissatisfaction? (Dissatisfied: Not content or happy with something.)  Who would want to feel happy or content with a night like that?!

There are two important points here:

  1. If I don’t let myself feel the dissatisfaction – how will I ever know to make change, or where to make it so that I can be more satisfied with my life?
  2. I can do dissatisfied. I can survive it. I can feel it and learn from it and live with it. Not all the time – but I can do it. It wont kill me, and yes, it actually will make me stronger if I let it.

So, these are the muscles I need to strengthen. I’ll be hitting sh*t gym on the regular I am sure, pumping it out and getting stronger, but also gaining perspective.

The more I allow the dissatisfaction to be real – allow it to exist – the more I will know about what needs to shift for me to enjoy my life more.

What do your feelings of late have to teach you?

In exploration,

Uncomfortable vs. Unfamiliar

Uncomfortable: causing or feeling slight pain or physical discomfort.
Unfamiliar: not known or recognized.*

When you start something new or different you may feel uncomfortable and we aren’t always sure we can do discomfort. We aren’t sure we will make it work, or even survive. We don’t always believe – in ourselves or in the process. We often stop what we are doing to avoid feeling uncomfortable, avoiding the new ‘uncomfortable’ in order to stay in the uncomfortable we know.

What you may also choose to feel is unfamiliar. It is different, it feels different in your body and brings different thoughts to your brain. I find fun, curiosity and energy in ‘unfamiliar’ that I don’t find in discomfort.

Doing new things may bring either one of these feelings or both of them. I invite you, when it is safe, to choose unfamiliar. To trade in the discomfort that you know for something new. You can do unfamiliar. You can do new things. You can do things you tried before and quit – and do them in a new way.

What would be different? What outcomes will be available for you now, that discomfort kept you from in the past?

Who are you going to be? I think you are someone who can do hard things. I want to hear about them.

Be in touch,

*Definitions from Google

Like Rewards?

When creating a behavior chart for a child it is recommended that you put at least one thing on there that they already can do – regularly. Like a gimme.

Why? For all the obvious reasons. They see success, they get the sticker, they always have something to feel good about when looking at that chart…

The other important thing about behavior charts is that there shouldn’t be too many things on them at once. You should find one behavior you really want to see happening, and reward the heck out of them for every step along the way.

Do you do that for yourself in any part of your life? Do you reward yourself for the things that you do do well? Do you not put too many behavior changes on your plate at once?

Think about the one thing you most want to change in your life. (That you have control over – hint, it is something YOU can do and does not involve other people changing!)

Now, if you could create a chart, even if it is only in your mind, to support you in getting the behavior you want – what would be one it?

The gimme, the thing you always do well
The thing you do most of the time
The new behavior you want to see in your life

The final important thing about charts – the reward! Here is the catch, just like with kids, the reward has to match the individual. What is something you want, that would be fun to work towards? Keep in mind – 70%. If you are getting the star 70% of the time you are nailing it! Perfection doesn’t exist, not in kids and not in adults.

How would taking this approach be different than things you’ve tried in the past? What would be available to you here?


Today is a very special day.

It isn’t yesterday.
It isn’t tomorrow.
And it’s the only day we ever have.

What if you really took that on today?
Lived IN it.
In this day, and in the moments in it.

Not out there.
Not out in that imaginary future where everything is brighter.
Not out where you finally have it “figured out.”

Also, not back there.
Back when things were simpler, easier, maybe more fun.
Back when, if you really think about it, you were still waiting for life to happen.

The thing is, we can’t afford you not to be here, now.
If this is all we get – then we need you to show up.
Now, here.

Because you are the only one for the job.
Because you, believe it or not, have a unique perspective that we need.
What if you lived that today?

What would be different?