PS: If you want to know my 6 step process for losing weight and keeping it off, even if you’re busy – I wrote a book about it! Paperback and ebooks on Amazon.
I’ve been talking with a lot of clients (and myself!) lately about the crazy we can expect. The kind of chaos or the patterns of unrest that are just that – patterns. There is a tendency to want to throw our hands up, forget the great plans we had for ourselves, and just give in to the madness when this happens. Decide we’ll just recover later.
I totally get that, still do it at times, and want to be on to myself about two things:
Let’s dive in here…
Think about the last time you decided to “just go with the flow” or “worry about it later.” I want you to find the moment where you went from committed to your plans and “on-track” to “F*#% it.” (or however you word it…)
There was a moment in there where you decided! That’s the choice. The moment you believe the thought that getting off your well laid plan is the better idea and go with it, right there, that’s the choice point.
So, yes, “life happens” but you’re still in there at every turn getting to decide. Good news, right?!
The next one I love, and I think will offer you a little more relief (that one above, admittedly, can be harder to pin point on your own).
We’ll use my client, I’ll call her Steph, to illustrate this one. Steph is a busy physical therapist who works long busy days at her job and was constantly wondering when she’d be able to eat her lunch, then when she’d get off to eat her dinner. She was hungry all the time and felt constantly anxious about this part of it. She had a “crazy schedule” that was unpredictable and she was sure she couldn’t plan her eating in a way that she could stick to.
We figured out though, that she eats lunch between 12:00 and 1:30 each day and dinner no later than 7:30. No matter how late she works she can always do both those things. All of the sudden the “crazy” was predictable – she could see the pattern in the chaos and make a plan.
So she made her way of eating include those time windows and she could move forward knowing that she knows exactly how it’s going to happen.
Nothing changed except how she was thinking about it all. She had been thinking it was crazy, now she thinks it’s predictable – and she feels more freedom!
So, think about a “crazy” thing that you’re dealing with each day or each week. Walk your self through it and find each point within it that’s actually predictable and see if you can look at it in a new way.
Is there freedom in there after all?
What is your thing? The thing that just wont let you be. The struggle or the dream or the thing that you just can’t NOT do? For me it was to figure this thing out. Figure out how to have freedom from the struggle – then help everyone else figure it out too. Because there’s life after it. Big, bold, beautiful life. It’s as full and as fun as you make it – because you’re in charge, you pick!
Do you want to do that? Do you want to see what the other side is like? It’s not something I can really tell you about it because I think it’s a little different for all of us.
One client compared this 4th of July to last 4th of July and it was really cool to see, feel, the difference in her life. For her the extra weight is about people pleasing. She ate over her desires, her wants, and her slight preferences because she thought that made other people feel better.
She was operating as if her having less, working harder, and struggling more would mean that others would feel better, enjoy more, and be more comfortable and happy.
It doesn’t work that way. Squishing the life out of yourself doesn’t make room for other people to enjoy more life, it just takes the best version of you away from all of us.
You have to figure out a way to do you in a way that you don’t have to eat over.
Start today, tell me one thing that you can do that makes you feel more like you than anything else.
I can’t wait to hear from YOU.
How are you? Are you good? I hope you are. Then again, 50% of life is negative emotion – so if you’re just content, or maybe frustrated that’s okay too. It’s just how it’s supposed to happen.
I was talking with a client this week about a trap that I fall into that I was wondering if she fell into and it made me think of you.
Do you do this too?
When I am about to get sick I’m really tired and draggy, I’m all annoyed with myself about it and I’m 100% convinced that life should be different than it is. I SHOULD have more energy, I SHOULD be getting more done, I SHOULD be FINE!
Right? (and those damned should’s again!)
Then, it becomes clear that I am sick and after more time than it should take me to just give in and rest – I finally do. And it’s all fine, and hindsight is 20/20, and I’m on the couch watching House of Cards, in peace.
What is wrong with this picture? And no, it’s not that I’m a life coach and I should have this all figured out – I don’t, I have my own coach to help me work on things just like this!
It’s that when I fight with reality it never works! I never win. I can expect the same results each time I do it and yet, I still do it. WHY!?!?!?!?!?! It’s the way I’m relating to my body.
What if I was like “Hmmm… I feel really tired and draggy. I need some rest. Where can I do that, what can I drop or delegate so I can take care of myself here?”
What would be different? (No, you don’t get to judge yourself for resting!)
What would be possible if I didn’t wage war on reality and just accepted it?
I think it would feel more peaceful. I think I would actually use less energy because I wouldn’t be fighting. Sometimes my body knows better than my brain.
There were a lot of years that my body felt like the enemy, but the deal is, there’s no getting through this life without it so I’ve decided to love the damn thing just as it is. Even when it’s hard. Even when I think it SHOULD be different.
Do you know what I mean? Do you feel like an alien in your body sometimes? Do you want to feel more like your insides match your outsides? I do.
Let’s do that. Contact me, I want to hear about what is going on for you.
Dear Future Self,
You got me so far! You motivated me, showed me the way, and shared so much wisdom. Thank you!
…I’m so sorry I dumped you! And right when things were really getting good. My bad.
I know, I know! I always do that. I do what works and then get where I was headed and take a seat right down in the midst of it all to look squarely back in the wrong direction for motivation/inspiration/and eventual failure. (So dramatic, but really, pretty accurate!)
I’m certain I’ve learned this lesson before and I’m fairly certain I’ll learn it again, dang it…
What I know is that I have to stay connected to what I’m creating, not look back at what iIve done and hope that things will keep changing for the better.
The “better” is out front, it isn’t behind me. I can’t look at my past to create the future – I have to create the future out where it lives!
I have actively cultivate the life that I want to live with my focus out there, in my future, where you live.
I know that intellectually and I can feel it in my bones but I don’t always “get it.” I get distracted, or maybe too big for my britches. Whatever it is I stop doing what works and get all weird and grasp-y about things that once were infused with grace.
So anyway, I’m back. Again. With my gaze firmly planted out in front and headed your way! Grounded in the REALity that the best way for me to do the here and now is to have you as my constant companion and guide.
Thank you, future self, for being there – even after I drop you like a hot potato every time things get exciting. You are steadfast and patient, I don’t deserve you – but I can’t evolve without you.
I work with women who want to shed the weight of the food and diet struggle so they can actively become the person they’ve put off becoming.
If that’s you, I want to hear from you, tell me:
1. What you’re waiting for.
2. and why.
I look forward to it!